Time
by MaddieNicole
Summary: JJ has some news. How will Hotch react? JJ/Hotch one shot.


**Author's Note:** Hi! I believe this will be a one-shot. It came to me out of the blue and was easy to write. Let me know what you think, please!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Criminal Minds.

Time

Hotch stares at the blonde standing before him. Her posture is rigid, echoing her determination. She has on a brave face even though she just delivered awful news. Unexpected, awful news.

"JJ," Hotch gasps. He rushes around his desk and goes up to her. He's closer than usual, but they're both too overwhelmed to notice. He looks at her intently. "When?"

JJ blinks slowly, preparing herself for his questions. She's heard them all by now; from Reid and Penelope and the rest of the team. The man before her is the last person to know. She tries to tell herself she didn't plan it that way, but deep down she knows differently. The moment she told her boss the news was the moment she'd be told she was no longer to go out in the field. Her job would change and she'd be chained to a desk, which would change her life and make everything happening real.

She wanted to put that feeling off until the last possible second.

"It was confirmed on Monday." JJ's proud of how even her voice is considering she feels as though her life is splintering. It would be so easy to give in; to cry, to scream, or even surrender.

But JJ can't breakdown in front of her boss, because now is when she needs to prove she isn't fragile.

"It's Friday." Hotch feels betrayed that she hasn't come to him sooner. Disappointment takes residence in his eyes. "It's Friday, JJ," he repeats a bit more sternly.

The hurt she sees in Hotch's face is unexpected. Before she walked into his office, she was almost relieved that the only person left to tell was someone who never allowed his emotions to interfere with anything. Aaron Hotchner is the patriarch of stoicism, which meant she wouldn't be facing tears like she did with Penelope or anger like she did with Morgan. Hotch didn't ask insistent, excessive questions like Reid, nor would he have Blake's pity.

However, it is clear to JJ now that she was wrong to expect nothing. The betrayal she sees in Hotch's face makes her feel awful for assuming he'd be impassive about her situation. What kind of friend is she?

"I know, Hotch. I just needed time to process…" JJ's voice is quiet and timid. She wants to save face, so she turns away from him.

Hotch takes a step back, sensing JJ's need to have some space. After a moment, he asks the dreaded question. "How bad is it?"

His voice demands her full attention so she faces him head on. "Stage three."

Hotch's eyes grow big. He rests one hand on his hip and drags the other down his face, still trying to process JJ's revelation. For nearly five, silent minutes he paces and looks around his office. He meets her eyes at one point and she can see his are shining. Suddenly he turns his back to her and takes a deep breath. He bows his head and rests his hands on his hips and doesn't say a word. JJ grows concerned so she steps towards him.

"Hotch I—"

She stops speaking when he faces her. His gaze reveals nothing, yet it makes her feel two inches tall. JJ knows it isn't his intention to make her feel that way, but she was silly to assume this was going to be easy for either of them.

She wonders if she revels the scrutiny, simply because it meant she was still here.

Tension begins to build on the silence in the room. It fills the office because no one wants to hear this kind of news from someone they care about.

JJ takes two steps towards Hotch because the stillness in the room is becoming unbearable. "Hotch, please say something," she says. Her voice cracks and she's pretty sure she's about to lose it.

"I need a minute," he says quietly. JJ watches as he walks past her to the couch and sits. He rests his elbows on his knees and clasps his hands, bowing his head.

JJ stands in disbelief. She's rendered Aaron Hotchner speechless.

A minute passes, then two. JJ can't give him a second longer. After all, her diagnosis indicates she probably doesn't have much time left anyways.

So, she begins to ramble.

"I waited until tonight to tell you so it wouldn't interfere with our work because I have to tell all of you and it's been so hard and the team's upset and—"

Hotch sits up straighter. "The team knows?" he interrupts her.

JJ bites her lip and nods. She can see the same hurt as before when he found out she waited five days to tell him she was sick. Hotch clenches his jaw and looks away.

"I waited to tell you tonight so you'd have the weekend to process and prepare to tell me I can't do my job but I still can and I want you to know that." JJ knows she is till rambling, but her words catch Hotch's attention.

He looks directly at her and she sees his stormy hazel eyes. "JJ do you think my first concern is your job performance right now?" His irritation is evident, but that's only because his friend has cancer and there isn't a damn thing he can do about it.

JJ allows the words to slip out before she thinks. "Shouldn't it be?"

Hotch refuses to look at her, because he is so dismayed in her lack of faith in him. "I don't know how you could think that of me, JJ."

JJ looks down in shame. He is right. She hasn't given him the credit he deserves since the beginning of this. Everything she expected to happen is being derailed by Aaron Hotchner. Last week, JJ would have told anyone that Hotch would be concerned for their well-being above all else in a situation like this. Yet, here she was, thinking less of him for no reason at all. She wonders when she lost faith in his humanity. It is clear to her that she's allowed concerns about her job overrule the respect she owes her friends.

She was only diagnosed on Monday and already the cancer is changing her.

"I'm going to go," JJ announces, avoiding him.

She reaches for the doorknob when a hand grabs her wrist. The physical contact makes her jump, but if Hotch noticed he isn't saying so.

"No. Don't leave." When he stands he doesn't let go of her, bringing them close enough to feel each other's breaths. He clears his throat. "You can't leave, JJ," he whispers. They both know what he means. She is expected to fight this with all her might, because he can't lose her.

Hotch shakes his head, still in shock over what JJ has told him. Never did he ever anticipate having a conversation like this one. He looks into her eyes and his voice fails him. All he can do is gaze into her baby blues.

JJ allows a tear to fall. Hotch moves his hand to grip hers in comfort. The action makes JJ give in to him.

"I'm scared, Hotch."

Hotch squeezes her hand. "Me, too." He can tell JJ is surprised at his confession and he hopes he hasn't let her down. Yes, he is a strong man, but JJ's diagnosis has rocked his core.

JJ's face scrunches up and they come together. She grabs the front lapels of his jacket and buries her head into his chest. Hotch wraps his arms around her and holds her close. His grip is strong and he feels JJ's breath hitch as she cries. Instinctively he bows his head against the top of hers and begins to whisper into her golden hair.


End file.
